FAQ section 4

4) Attendants

4.1) When should I choose my attendants?

It is generally not a good idea to select attendants more than a year before the wedding, because who is close to you will probably change over time. It is very difficult to back out of having asked someone to be your attendant. It is acceptable to ask several people to attend you but not choose one of them to be an honor attendant until closer to the wedding.

4.2) Do my attendants have to be of my own gender?

No. There is no reason you can't have attendants of either or both genders.

4.3) Do I have to choose one attendant to be my honor attendant?

No. If you care for all of the friends you've asked to stand up for you equally, there is no need to choose. You can simply divide the duties among all of them.

4.4) How many attendants do I need?

This is entirely up to you, though you may want to take into account the traditions in your area. You can have none, one, six...whatever seems suitable. That said, the number of attendants does tend to increase with the formality and size of the wedding, so that some people will probably think it a bit silly to have six bridesmaids when there are only 50 guests in an afternoon garden wedding.

4.5) Is it necessary to have equal numbers of groomsmen and bridesmaids?


It is OK to have ushers who are not groomsmen, in that they do not stand up with the groomsmen and bridesmaids. This is sometimes a solution when you need more ushers to direct the guests to their seats, but don't want to have twice as many groomsmen as bridesmaids.

4.6) What roles can people who are not attendants play?

There are many possibilities for roles for people who are important to you or want to help, but who you have not selected as attendants for one reason or another.

The contents of this document are copyright 2004 Sonja Kueppers. Do not use without permission.

Last Modified: May 15, 2004