----------------------------------------------------------------------------- Brought to you by the Anti-Celibacy League ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- THE UNISEX, OMNISEXUAL P U R I T Y T E S T ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- Version 4.0 (400 questions) Final Release September 1988 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- Public domain; no copyright. Murphy's law on sex: Love is a matter of chemistry; sex is a matter of physics. Virginity can be cured. It should not be interpreted nor inferred that the authors/contributors have actually performed any of the actions contained herein. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- N O T I C E Disclaimer of Liability The authors/contributors are in no way, shape or form responsible for any actions or situations inspired as a result of reading this document. If you perform any actions contained herein, it's YOUR fault, not ours. Warning: Some of the activities contained herein may be hazardous to the physical well-being of you or your partner(s). If in doubt as to your (or their) physical condition, always consult a doctor before attempting any listed activities. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- Join the fight against celibacy... Just say YES!!! ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- Genesis/History: ver last revise #-of-q revision site/contributors 1 - - 100 MIT Baker House/anon 1 - -1982 100 Ported to CMU by ps 2 Spring-1983 247 CMU/jb, pd, kr, ps, ts, mt, et al 3 13-Apr-1985 400 CMU/da, fa, tc, no, dt, sv, rz, et al 4 Summer-1988 400 Anti-Celibacy League/el, cc, sz, mlk, dtt, md, mtk, gwh, et al Version 1 (100) on (unknown) Version 2 (247) on (unknown) Version 3.3C.1 (400) on 05-Dec-1984 Version 3.4 (400) on 29-Jan-1985 Version 3.5 (400) on 10-Apr-1985 Version 3.5A (400) on 13-Apr-1985 Version 4.0 (400) on ~ Sept-1988 Verbose history trashed, in addition to the removal of un-needed material. Test re-edited for readability. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- Instructions for Use: This is a fairly long test consisting of four hundred questions. It starts out tame and gets progressively worse, or better, depending on your viewpoint. There are many ways of taking this test. You can, of course, be anti-social and hide yourself in your room and take this test all by yourself. However, we feel that the best way to utilize this test if to hold a Purity Test Party. All you need is one copy of the test, and a bunch of friends. (Lots of writing implements and paper would be useful too.) The person with the copy of the test will be the test administrator; s/he will read the questions out loud and everybody else will write down their answers, or at least keep track of their total "yes" or "no" answers, whichever is easier. We have no definite rules as to whether the participants are required to reveal their answers, that is up to the group to decide; however, each person's purity score should be made common knowledge (The person with the highest score gets to be giggled at for the rest of his/her life). This works great at parties and lets everyone know who's easy and who isn't, so you'll know who to go home with. Don't leave home without it (the test, that is). All questions in this test pertain to events that have happened to you after your weaning and infancy. Anything that may have happened before that time shall not be considered. The term mutual masturbation refers to someone masturbating you AND/OR you masturbating someone else, not exclusively someone masturbating you AND you masturbating them. The term sexual activity refers to sexual intercourse, oral sex, and mutual masturbation, but not necking or petting. The term sexual intercourse refers to the act of intercourse. Orgasm is not necessary, penetration counts. We would also like to define having sex in the homosexual case; homosexual sex has occurred when you and/or your partner (of the same sex) have an orgasm while there is some contact between the genitals of you and those of your partner. Numbers marked in <>'s are footnote numbers. All footnotes are located at the end of the text. We would now like to bring to your attention that there is no passing nor failing score. Therefore, one really shouldn't worry too much about getting a high score, even if you do get giggled at for the rest of your life. --- ALL TECHNICALITIES COUNT --- ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- For this section, if you are mostly a: - heterosexual, then your partner in deed, often referred to by the words someone or partner, is to be someone of the opposite gender. - homosexual, then your partner in deed, often referred to by the words someone or partner, is to be someone of your own gender. - 50-50 confirmed bisexual, then your partner in deed, often referred to by the words someone or partner, is to be someone of the opposite gender. 1. Platonic Relations Have you ever done any of the following: 1. kissed a friend or stranger on their hands, head, or neck region as a friendly gesture? 2. held hands with someone? 3. had a date? 4. had a date past 1 a.m.? 5. dated someone on a regular basis? 6. picked someone up? 7. been picked up? 8. gone steady? 9. slow danced? 10. had the symptoms of Russian <1> fingers? 11. had the symptoms of Roman <2> hands? 12. shared sleeping accommodations with someone without anything steamy happening? 13. given a back or neck rub or massage with no ulterior motive? 14. used tickling as a pick-up, get-to-know-you-better routine? 15. directly asked someone whom you were not going out with and had never gone out with if they were a virgin? 16. used physical strength, physical power, or any physical prowess, or prowesslessness as a factor in pick-up, get-to-know-you-better routine? 17. secretly lusted after someone without that person knowing? 18. dropped subtle hints to someone whom you liked/loved/wanted, hoping that they would pick up on it? ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- Although this section is termed Auto-erotica and mono-sexualism, the events herein still count even if you are with someone else at the time. It was so named because predominantly these activities, like the harp, (and the porcelain goddess) is essentially a solo event. 2. Auto-erotica and Mono-sexualism Have you ever done the following: 19. had an arousing dream? (Wet dreams and the such.) 20. been sexually aroused? 21. verbally expressed obscenities? (uttered, yelled, muttered, etc.) 22. sexually fantasized about your long-term instructor, mentor, or someone who is superior to you? (One day skydiving teachers, or two hour ski instructors and the such do not count.) 23. sexually fantasized about your lawyer, doctor, nurse, psychiatrist or someone with whom you are having a professional relationship? 24. sexually fantasized about someone you know personally but not closely? 25. sexually fantasized about anyone and masturbated at the same time? 26. read or bought pornographic periodicals? 27. read sexually explicit literature? 28. gone skinny dipping alone? 29. made obscene phone calls? 30. phoned up any recorded phone sex numbers (this includes answering machines with "phone sex" material)? 31. phoned up any live phone sex numbers (this includes any human with a phone, not just 976-type pay per call numbers)? 32. stuffed your bra if you are female, or stuffed your pants if you are male? 33. shaved your genital pubic hair? 34. shaved your genital pubic hair on a fairly regular basis? 35. masturbated? 36. masturbated at least five times in one twenty-four hour period? 37. masturbated on a fairly regular basis of no less than once a fortnight? 38. masturbated where you could have been discovered? (In a crowd, in public, city parks, gym/dorm/barracks showers, movie theater, etc.) 39. masturbated out in the wild or in nature with no nearby civilization? 40. masturbated to orgasm? 41. masturbated while reading either pornographic or sexually explicit materials? 42. masturbated while driving a land vehicle? (Car, motorcycle, etc.) 43. masturbated while on the phone? (No kinky interpretations of on the phone. This is legit.) 44. masturbated while in a bathroom of the opposite sex? 45. masturbated while watching an R or X-rated show? 46. seen any burlesque show? (Rocky Horror counts) 47. been to a peep show? 48. been to a private showing of a pornographic movie? 49. been to a public showing of a pornographic movie? (i.e. X-rated movie house) 50. walked around in your dwelling in the nude? (Must be a serious walk; five minutes of going around trying to find your undies after a shower doesn't make it.) 51. walked around in a public or semi-public area with a top (shirt, T-shirt, etc) but no bottoms (pants, shorts, etc)? (Dorm hallways, lobby areas, etc. are acceptable; however locker rooms and bathrooms and such place where this behavior is accepted does not count.) 52. bought blatantly sexual objects? (This means that if you buy a bottle of Coke and you use it as a dildo, it really doesn't count. Think: design and function.) 53. owned any erotic art pieces? 54. sculpted erotic/obscene artworks in food (predominantly bananas, carrots, apples...)? 55. eaten any erotic food items? (Chocolate tits, banana dicks, etc.) 56. sculpted erotic-obscene artworks in soap, wood, or any other carvable material (not food)? 57. made an X or R-rated snowman or snow-woman? 58. tasted your own orgasmic liquids? 59. inserted your finger into your rectum? 60. used ben-wa balls <3>? 61. performed oral sex on yourself? (Yes, this is possible.) 62. willingly urinated on the garments that you were wearing? (In other words: piss in your pants; wet yourself; had an accident) 63. willingly urinated on any part of your body? 64. willingly defecated on the garments that you were wearing? (In other words: shit in your pants; had a serious accident.) 65. willingly defecated on yourself? (In other words: sick.) ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- 3. Legislative Misfits and Other Ethical Questions Have you ever done any of the following: 66. administered or are in the process of administering any version of the Purity Test? 67. taken Purity Tests of any versions more than 5 times? 68. lied on any previous Purity Tests? 69. exaggerated about any sexual experiences? 70. broken your word, or any promise or vow that you had made? 71. written grafitti? 72. plagiarized? 73. shoplifted? 74. stolen? 75. written a check that bounced? 76. committed breaking and entering? 77. told someone that you loved them when you did not? 78. told someone that you loved them strictly because you wanted to have sex with them? 79. sexually fantasized about someone else other than your partner while you were engaged in sexual activity? 80. intentionally listened in onto other people performing sexual activities without their knowing it? 81. used alcohol to lower someone else's inhibitions for the intent of sexual activity? 82. used drugs to lower someone else's inhibitions for the intent of sexual activity? 83. forced or coerced someone into performing sexual activities with you? 84. had dates with multiple people in the same night while not all of your dates were aware of your actions? 85. gone steady with multiple people at the same time without all of the people aware of what you were doing? 86. gone steady with multiple people at the same time with all of them aware of your actions? 87. urinated on someone else intentionally? (Piss fights!) 88. urinated in any container that was not originally designed for such purpose excepting urinalysis incidents? 89. urinated anywhere not generally accepted for urination? (For instance: in the kitchen sink, or in the family car's glove compartment.) 90. urinated from a height greater than the fifth floor, or equivalent height, above ground level (e.g. buildings, bridges, the Grand Canyon)? 91. defecated anywhere not generally accepted for defecation? (Camping or hiking trips in without bathroom/outhouse access do not count.) 92. stored any human excretia in your refrigerator, oven, or any food storage/preparation appliance? 93. stored evacuated human excretia anywhere else in your room, apartment, house, habitation, office, etc? 94. entered a bathroom of the opposite sex and was not accompanied by someone of the opposite sex and was not involved in a search and/or rescue mission at the time? 95. mooned or goosed <4> someone? 96. streaked, flashed, or otherwise exposed pretty much totally yourself in public before (or after) an informal, unofficial gathering of people? 97. streaked, flashed, or otherwise exposed pretty much totally yourself in public before a formal (official) gathering of people? (Such as for a function, stage performance, charity dinner, etc.) 98. been arrested for any sexual, drug, or alcohol related offense? (Picture taken and all that wonderful, free stuff.) 99. received money or some favor in exchange for sexual activities? 100. given money or some favor in exchange for sexual activities? 101. thought you might unintentionally be pregnant or might have unintentionally caused a pregnancy? 102. had or gave someone an unwanted pregnancy? 103. had sex while either you or your partner, but not both, were under the age of consent for the state that you were in? 104. given a sympathy fuck? 105. initiated sexual activities with someone for the sake of those activities only? 106. willingly committed incest? 107. been involved in adultery? 108. stolen the underwear of someone you know for a purpose other than that of a practical joke or to just annoy the person? (A bunch of guys invading the women's dorm on a mission of panty raids does not count.) 109. intentionally taken someone's underwear and didn't know who it belonged to? ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- 4. Drugs Have you ever done any of the following: 110. had an alcoholic drink? 111. been intoxicated? 112. vomited due to excessive alcohol? 113. passed out due to excessive alcohol? 114. forgotten events that occurred while you were drunk? 115. smoked tobacco? 116. chewed tobacco? 117. bought controlled substances in violation of the law? 118. sold or re-sold controlled substances in violation of the law? 119. taken stimulants (other than caffeine)? 120. taken depressants (other than alcohol)? 121. inhaled nitrous oxide (NO ) not administered for anesthesia during dental care? 2 122. intentionally inhaled any other gases or fumes for purposes other than medical? 123. taken valium other than for medical purposes? 124. smoked marijuana/sensemilia? 125. smoked marijuana/sensemilia more than four times? 126. eaten marijuana/sensemilia? 127. eaten marijuana or sensemilia more than four times? 128. taken opiate in any form? 129. taken opiate in any form more than twice? 130. used cocaine? 131. used cocaine more than four times? 132. used any drugs for any purpose other than medical? 133. used any one drug for any purpose other than medical more than twice? 134. used PCP? 135. used PCP more than twice? 136. used lysergic acid diethylamide (LSD), peyote, or psilocybin? 137. used LSD, peyote, or psilocybin more than twice? 138. used LSD more than six times? 139. deliberately injured yourself so as to obtain medication? 140. played any games in which there was a mystery as to who would be getting drugs and who wouldn't, yet everybody plays in it? (e.g. Who's got the pill, where half the cups (of soda) would have LSD in it and the other half wouldn't and everybody picks a cup and drinks it and wonders who gets lucky.) 141. had sexual intercourse while under the influence of cocaine? 142. had sexual intercourse while under the influence of marijuana or sensemilia? 143. had sexual intercourse while under the influence of LSD, peyote, or psilocybin? ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- For this section, it you are mostly a: - heterosexual, then your partner in deed, often referred to by the words someone or partner, is to be someone of the opposite gender. - homosexual, then your partner in deed, often referred to by the words someone or partner, is to be someone of your own gender. - 50-50 confirmed bisexual, then your partner in deed, often referred to by the words someone or partner, is to be someone of the opposite gender. 5. Non Platonic Have you done any of the following: 144. propositioned someone for necking or petting? 145. propositioned someone for sexual activities? 146. pinched or patted someone else's buttocks? 147. french kissed? 148. been kissed below the neck but not including arms or hands? 149. kissed someone else below the neck but not including arms or hands? 150. necked? 151. petted above the waist? 152. petted below the waist? 153. kissed on the first date? 154. necked on the first date? 155. petted above the waist on the first date? 156. petted below the waist on the first date? 157. given a hickey? 158. received a hickey? 159. fondled or stroked someone else's clothed legs? 160. fondled or stroked someone else's bare legs? 161. fondled or stroked someone else's frontal chest/torso region? 162. had your frontal chest/torso region fondled or stroked? 163. been involved with pelvic thrusting while fully clothed? 164. had your fingers licked or sucked? 165. had your ear or ear region licked, breathed upon, sucked, or nibbled? 166. licked, breathed onto, sucked, or nibbled an ear or ear region? 167. licked or sucked someone else's finger(s)? 168. fondled someone who was asleep? 169. given a back massage with ulterior motives? 170. given a back massage that lead to something steamier? 171. seen someone else completely nude while the person was under good lighting conditions? 172. been seen completely nude under good lighting conditions by someone else? 173. been in someone's company while both of you were completely nude? 174. bathed or showered with someone? 175. let someone else wash you while you were perfectly capable of doing it yourself. (This means that it doesn't count if you were in the hospital with two broken arms and the nurse washed you, no matter how cute she is.) 176. gone skinny dipping in mixed company? 177. stroked or fondled of a woman's clothed breast(s), or, if you are female, had your clothed breast(s) stroked of fondled? 178. stroked or fondled of a woman's bare breast(s), or, if you are female, had your bare breast(s) stroked of fondled? 179. licked, sucked, or nibbled on someone else's nipple(s)? 180. had your nipple(s) licked, sucked, or nibbled upon? 181. petted, stroked, fondled, or otherwise handled someone else's covered genitals? 182. had your covered genitals petted, stroked, fondled, or otherwise handled? 183. petted, stroked, fondled, or otherwise handled someone else's bare genitals? 184. had your bare genitals petted, stroked, fondled, or otherwise handled? 185. had an orgasm while petting? 186. given your partner an orgasm while petting? 187. given or received finger scratch marks during sexual activity? 188. performed oral sex? 189. received oral sex? 190. done sixty-nine <5>? 191. performed mutual masturbation? 192. had sexual intercourse? 193. had sexual intercourse on the first date? 194. had sexual intercourse without the use of birth control devices? (Rhythm, prayer, and hope methods do not count.) 195. had sexual intercourse with a virgin? (Not yourself.) 196. had sexual intercourse with a religious officiary. (Priest, nun, mother-superior, cardinal, pope, etc.) ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- This section of the test deals with whether you have done things with people whom you may not be altogether comfortable, therefore in this section of the test, if you are mostly a: - heterosexual, then your partner in deed, often referred to by the words someone or partner, is to be someone of your own gender. - homosexual, then your partner in deed, often referred to by the words someone or partner, is someone of the opposite gender. - 50-50 confirmed bisexual, then your partner in deed, often referred to by the words someone or partner, is to be someone of your own gender. 6. Non Primary Choice Relations Have you ever done any of the following: 197. held hands or otherwise displayed public affection? 198. kissed someone on the lips? 199. french kissed someone? 200. necked? 201. petted? 202. received manual sex? 203. given manual sex? 204. received oral sex? 205. given oral sex 206. had sexual intercourse? 207. had anal sex? (The use of fingers or any phallic objects in this case would also count.) 208. done 69? 209. propositioned someone for sexual activity? 210. yielded willingly to a proposition from someone for sexual activity? 211. been a participant in a who's-physically-better-equipped verification contest? (Contestants must be of same gender; spectators, judges, umpires, and verifiers may be of different gender.) 212. gave money or favors for sexual activity? 213. received money or favors for sexual activity? 214. fondled someone who was asleep? 215. attempted to seduce someone? 216. allowed yourself to be seduced? 217. had an orgasm while petting? 218. gave your partner an orgasm while petting? 219. had sexual activities with more than 10 people? 220. stroked or fondled the clothed legs of someone? 221. stroked or fondled the bare legs of someone? 222. stroked or fondled the clothed chest/torso region of someone? 223. stroked or fondled the bare chest/torso region of someone? 224. stroked, fondled, or otherwise handled the clothed genitals of someone else? 225. stroked, fondled, or otherwise handled the bare genitals of someone else? 226. been in a menage-a-trois of people of the same sex? ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- For any of the questions in this section, a yes answer is in order if it is something that you do as an alternative to other sexual gratifications or as an aid and/or in conjunction with other means of sexual gratification, or in other words, have you done it in a serious basis? Trying it a few times to see what it's like does not count. 7. Alternate Choices Do any of the following apply: 227. been decidedly heterosexual? 228. been decidedly homosexual? 229. been decidedly bisexual? 230. practiced bestiality <6>? 231. practiced transvesticism? 232. practiced sadism <7>? 233. practiced masochism <8>? 234. practiced bondage? 235. practiced domination? 236. practiced submission? 237. practiced sodomy <9>? 238. practiced cocrophilia <10>? 239. practiced frotteurism <11>? 240. practiced klismaphilia <12>? 241. practiced necrophilia <13>? 242. practice mysophilia <14>? 243. practice scoptophilia <15>? 244. practiced urophilia <16>? 245. owned a collection of underwear not your own? 246. had a foot fetish to any degree? 247. been a voyeur <17>? 248. been an exhibitionist? ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- This section relates to what you have or have not done. Accordingly, the group of people we are speaking of are of both genders. In questions where groups of people are concerned, there must be at least one person in the group who is of the opposite gender. 8. Group Sexual Relations Have you ever done any of the following: 249. listened to dirty jokes in mixed company? 250. told dirty jokes in mixed company? 251. discussed masturbation? (Bringing up the topic of masturbation during Purity Testing does not cut it as discussed masturbation.) 252. played a game in which it may require you or others to disrobe? 253. played a game in which it may require you or others to perform an action on another participant? 254. been in intimate contact with more than one person at the same time while all of you were nude? 255. had sexual intercourse with more than 10 people (not necessarily at the same time)? 256. had sexual intercourse with more than 1 person in a 24 hour period? 257. had sexual intercourse with both genders in a 24 hour period? 258. been in a bisexual/heterosexual menage-a-trois <18>? 259. engaged in sexual activities with a person and his/her parent? 260. engaged in sexual activities, necking, or petting with a person and his/her sibling? 261. been involved in a two (or more) in one? 262. been involved in a gang bang? (Step right up; come and get it while it's hot.) 263. been in a circle jerk? 264. been in a 69 circle? 265. been to an oil party (cooking, baby, Wesson)? 266. participated in a heterosexual orgy or been involved in group sex? (Four people or more; partners must be exchanged.) 267. participated in a bisexual orgy or group sex? (Four people or more; partners must be exchanged.) 268. participated in a fuck-a-thon <19>? (Where the object is to see how many times you can do it in the certain amount of time.) ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- This section measures your kinkiness. Therefore, the questions apply to both actions and events occurring while you were alone as well as when you were with someone else. 9. Extracurricular, deviant conduct 9.1. Non sentient objects Have you ever done any of the following: 269. used a bowling pin, Coke bottle, or something along those general shapes for sexual purposes? 270. masturbated using the aid of food? 271. eaten that food after masturbation? 272. eaten a lab dissection? 273. inserted food into yours or someone else's anus? 274. eaten that food after it was extracted/evacuated from yours or someone else's anus? 275. received an enema for a purpose other than that of medical? 276. used a basket, garbage can, or any other comparable sized receptacle for target practice masturbation? 277. used a mechanical hand-held device in aiding or replacing masturbation? (Vibrator, massager, Dust-Buster, etc.) 278. used a feather or any other tickling device for the purpose of tickling during sexual activity? 279. used ice for sexual purposes? 280. used whipped cream for sexual purposes? 281. used hot/melted wax for sexual purposes? 282. placed anything edible on your partner's body and then eaten it? 283. used any household syrup, sandwich spreading, oil, salad dressing, or any like substances for sexual purposes? 284. used ropes, chains, cuffs or other similar device for bondage purposes? 285. used a whip, chain, cat-o-nine-tails, or something similar for pain? 286. worn a leather, spandex or any other similar suit for sexual purposes? 287. used an inflatable doll for sexual purposes? 288. humped an inanimate object like a pillow, (dinner) liver, hole in the wall, sausages, bananas, etc? 289. purchased sexually related objects through the mail (not periodicals, but masks, suits, and other types of toys)? 290. performed sexual activities with a dead person? 291. inserted a small animal or creature (alive or dead) into your rectum? 292. performed sexual activities with your (dead) dinner animal or creature? 293. attempted to perform sexual activities with a live animal, but failed? 294. performed sexual activities with a smallish animal? (Dogs, cats, rabbits, lab rats, gerbils, etc.) 295. performed sexual activities with a domesticated farm animal? (Cow, pig, chicken, sheep, etc.) 296. mutilated any living animal or creature for your pleasures? 297. had sexual intercourse with a live animal? (Any size.) [These three questions differ from those above in that ones above measure your variation in animal choice, and the questions down here measure what you do with the animals.] 298. received oral sex from a live animal? (Any size.) 299. gave oral sex to a live animal? (Any size.) 300. performed sexual activities with a single type of animal (alive or dead) more than once? 301. had sexual activities with more than one kind of animal (alive or dead)? 302. cross dressed in the undergarments of the opposite sex for a sexual activities? (This means that school plays, initiations, and the such don't count.) 303. stuffed your pants or bra while you were cross-dressed for sexual activities? 304. had your head inserted into a urinal or toilet bowl willingly? (Doing this in a pristine, show-room model does not count.) 305. worn a piece of lower-body underwear on your head? (Panties, jock-strap, etc.) 306. eaten, sucked, licked, nibbled, or otherwise inserted unwashed, used crotch piece of underwear into your mouth while it was not being worn? 307. deliberately sniffed or smelled the crotch piece of unwashed, used underwear while it was not being worn? 308. played in or with shit? 309. worn or used a condom, or any feminine hygiene contraption that has already been used? ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- This section tries to figure out how many places you have done it. It applies only to those situations in which you were with someone else. 9.2. Locality Have you ever done any of the following: 310. necked or petted in a place of religion? (Church, temple, altar, Grand Holy Cabbage Head Patch, etc.) 311. engaged in sexual activities in a place of religion? 312. necked or petted in a place of the dead? (Morgue, mortuary, etc.) 313. engaged in sexual activities in a place of the dead? 314. necked or petted in a contraption of the dead? (Coffin, hearse, etc.) 315. engaged in sexual activities in a contraption of the dead? 316. necked or petted in any moderately sized, road based vehicle not in excess of 30,000 pounds net unladen gross weight? 317. engaged in sexual activities in any moderately sized, road based vehicle not in excess of 30,000 pounds net unladen gross weight? 318. necked or petted in a road based vehicle in excess of 30,000 pounds net unladen gross weight? (Truck, tank, armored vehicle, etc.) 319. engaged in sexual activities in a road based vehicle in excess of 30,000 pounds net unladen gross weight? 320. engaged in sexual activities in a land based, non road dependent vehicle? (Train, subway, roller-coaster, etc.) 321. necked, petted, or engaged in sexual activities in a manually powered water based vehicle? (Row boat, surfboard, floating bathtub, etc. In order for this question to be answered affirmatively, the vehicle must be in water at the time of the action.) 322. necked, petted, or engaged in sexual activities in a non-manually powered water vehicle (Yacht, sailboat, Cruise ship, battleship, aircraft carrier, nuclear submarine, etc.) 323. necked, petted, or engaged in sexual activities in an academic arena (classroom, auditorium, stage, cafeteria, principal's office, etc.)? 324. necked, petted, or engaged in sexual activities in an aircraft or spacecraft? (Airplane, helicopter, hovercraft, balloon, zeppelin, flying carpet, flying saucer, etc.) 325. performed sexual activities in a household room other than a bedroom? 326. performed sexual activities on the floor (but not the roof)? 327. performed sexual activities on any furniture that is indoors but is not anything that is predominantly used for sitting, or to be used as a table/desk? (i.e. non-flat surfaces such as the kitchen sink) 328. performed sexual activities in a telephone booth, voting booth, automatic photograph takers, or any such small, non-moving enclosure that was not designed for such activities? 329. performed sexual activities in an elevator, people-mover, escalator, or any other similar people moving device (ski lift, etc.)? 330. performed sexual activities in a tree but not in a tree house or similar structure? 331. performed sexual activities on a roof of a building taller than 5 floors? 332. performed sexual activities inside any secluded, outdoor natural structure or enclosure? (cave, inside hedge, etc.) 333. performed sexual activities in the snow? (Spring thaw acceptable.) 334. performed sexual activities in a place where the air temperature was below the freezing point of water (32 deg. F, 0 deg. C)? 335. performed sexual activities where you could have been discovered? 336. performed sexual activities in a body of water or water based environment? (bath-tub, hot tub, shower, running water (as in waterfalls, tropical, torrential downpour, monsoons, etc.), swimming pool, pond, lake lagoon, sea, ocean, etc.)? 337. performed sexual activities in a desert or other arid, secluded area? (not in a house in the desert, but actually outside in the sand.) 338. performed sexual activities in a bathroom of the opposite sex? ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- 9.3. Style Have you ever done any of the following: 339. watched someone else masturbate (not on video, has to be live)? 340. had an orgasm on somebody? 341. had an orgasm in somebody if you are a male or had someone orgasm in you if you are a female? 342. used a penis as a leash or bludgeoning device? 343. used oxygen deprivation for sexual enhancement? (Strangulation. sounds fun, eh?) (Nitrous oxide doesn't count.) 344. willingly made video tapes or had pictures taken while engaged in sexual activities? 345. willingly made audio recordings while engaged in sexual activities? 346. talked dirty while performing sexual activities? 347. intentionally made more noise than necessary while engaged in sexual activities so as to put on a good show for whoever may be listening in? 348. had a family pet or domesticated animal walk over you or your partner while performing sexual activities? 349. ignored any general emergency that arose while you were deeply engaged in sexual activities? (Such as: house on fire, flash flood, private plane crash-lands in your dwelling...) 350. engaged in sexual activities with someone who is 10 years older or younger than yourself? 351. taken nude pictures of someone else? 352. had nude pictures of you taken (this includes taking nude pictures of yourself in a mirror)? 353. been involved in breast fucking? (aka "The Hawaiian Muscle Fuck") 354. participated in fist-fucking? 355. had sexual intercourse continuously for more than three hours? 356. been bruised while engaged in sexual activities? 357. bruised someone else while engaged in sexual activities? 358. been injured while engaged in sexual activities? 359. orgasmed more than three times in one session of sexual intercourse? 360. disturbed other people by making excessive noise while you and your partner were engaged in sexual activities? 361. engaged in sexual activities while in formal costume (prom dress, wedding dress, tuxedo, ballroom gown, etc.)? 362. had sexual intercourse doggie fashion? 363. had sexual intercourse in the female superior position? 364. had sexual intercourse sitting up or standing up? 365. done vertical 69 (one person standing, the other hanging upside down)? 366. had sexual intercourse upside-down (hanging from the ceiling like bats, standing on your heads, etc.)? 367. gone through multiple sexual positions without the need for re-entry? 368. fell asleep while engaged in sexual activities? 369. awakened to someone performing sexual activities with you? 370. given or received a hickey on your upper, inner thigh? 371. been on the receiving end of anal sex? 372. been on the ramming end of anal sex? 373. had sexual intercourse more than 10 times with 1 person? 374. had sexual intercourse more than 5 times in a 24 hour period? 375. had sexual intercourse more than 10 times in a 24 hour period? 376. engaged in sexual activities while someone other than your partner was watching? 377. engaged in sexual activities while one or both of you were playing a musical instrument, hacked, watched television, read, drawn or in other words were preoccupied with something other than sex and lust? 378. engaged in oral sex after intercourse without washing or douching? 379. kissed your partner on the lips after oral sex without brushing teeth, nor washing/gargling/rinsing out mouth? 380. inflicted pain while performing sexual activities? 381. drawn blood by biting while performing sexual activities? (Hickeys do not count as having drawn blood.) 382. been involved in cunnilingus <20> during the woman's period? 383. had sexual intercourse during the woman's period? 384. foot masturbated someone? 385. been foot masturbated? 386. tongue bathed someone? 387. been tongue bathed? 388. licked or sucked on someone else's feet and/or toes? 389. had your feet and/or toes licked or sucked by someone else? 390. licked someone's anus? 391. licked someone's anus while they were defecating? 392. performed oral sex while the person was urinating? 393. drank your own urine? 394. tasted or drank someone else's urine? 395. drank human blood? 396. tasted someone else's nasal mucous? 397. been involved in golden showers? 398. swallowed your partner's orgasmic secretions? 399. used the Purity Test as a checklist of things you could do? 400. participated in Purity Testing with an ulterior motive? ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- Scoring Congratulations, you are now the proud owner of a sheet of paper with lots of itty-bitty answers to the Purity Test. Sworn to excellence of workmanship, we now give you directions on how to calculate your Purity score. There are several methods; the calculator method works best. Of the easier ways: count up all your "no" answers, then divide this number by four. This gives your percentage purity; the higher the number, the more pure you are; in the same vein, the lower the score, the more of a sleaze-bag you are. For your reference, we include calculator directions: For people with real calculators (HP): <#no ans.> [ENTER] 4 / For people with other (dinky) calculators: <#no ans.> / 4 = ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- Warranty Information We hope that you have enjoyed this test. It does not come with a warranty, nor does it guarantee that it will get you laid or make you somehow somewhat better in bed or the haystack. The makers of this test are not responsible for any liabilities or damages resulting from this test, including but not limited to, paternity suits. Propagate (this test) at will, even without written permission. Not recommended for children under twelve. Parental guidance discouraged and frowned upon. Pencils, additional paper, and batteries not included. Some assembly may be required. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- Drive carefully; 90% of the people in the world are caused by accidents. The above is a public service announcement of this institution. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- Footnotes: <1> Rushin' fingers. <2> Roamin' hands. <3> They come as a set of several balls strung together. These balls are inserted into the rectum of one of the participants before sex, and are yanked out, usually by the partner, during orgasm. I think it's supposed to feel good or something like that. <4> Goose: opposite of moon. <5> You must be at least 48 inches tall to be allowed on this ride. <6> Avec les animaux. <7> For clarification: a sadist likes to hurt others. <8> For clarification: a masochist likes to receive pain. <9> Anal sex. <10> Marked interest in excrement; esp. use of feces or filth for sexual excitement.--Webster's Third New International Dictionary. An obsession with feces, varied in expression; it may involve the sight and sound of a person defecating.--The Book of Sex Lists, compiled by A. B. Gerber. Ballantine Books, New York. 1981. <11> 3: Masturbation by rubbing against another person.--Webster's. The need to rub against another stranger, especially in a tightly packed crowd.--Sex Lists. <12> A dependency on being given an enema.--Sex Lists. <13> Fascination with the dead; specif: obsession with and usu. erotic attraction toward and stimulation by corpses typically evidenced by overt acts (as copulation with a corpse.)--Webster's. <14> Abnormal attraction to filth.--Webster's. A dependency on something soiled or filthy, such as sweaty underwear or used menstrual pads.--Sex Lists. <15> A desire to look at sexually stimulating scenes esp. as a substitute for actual sexual participation that constitutes a partial or component instinct often sublimated (as in a desire for learning).--Webster's. A dependency on looking at sexual organs and watching sexual activity openly. It is not surreptitious as in voyeurism.--Sex Lists. <16> Being dependently responsive to the smell or taste of urine or the sight and sound of someone urinating.--Sex Lists. <17> 1: One whose sexual desire is concentrated upon seeing sex organs and sexual acts -- called also peeping tom. 2: An unduly prying observer usu. in search of sordid acts or scandalous sights.--Webster's. Being dependently responsive to the risk of being caught while illicitly peering at another person or couple undressing or engaged in sexual activity.--Sex Lists. <18> Do NOT attempt this if you have a heart condition, or have a history of cardiac failures. <19> Do NOT attempt this at home. This is an extremely dangerous activity. The people who perform this feat are highly trained athletes. <20> Vaginal oral sex. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- Table of Contents Disclaimer of Liability Genesis and History of this version of the Purity Test Instructions for Use and Administration of the test 1. Platonic Relations 2. Auto-erotica and Mono-sexualism 3. Legislative Misfits and Other Ethical Questions 4. Drugs 5. Non Platonic Relations 6. Non Primary Choice Relations 7. Alternate Choices 8. Group Sexual Relations 9. Extracurricular, deviant conduct 9.1. Non sentient objects 9.2. Locality 9.3. Style Scoring Warranty Information Footnotes Table of Contents