Source of test: ******@JHUVMS.HCF.JHU.EDU Subject: Purity Test 200 _______________________________________________________________________________ THE UNISEX, OMNISEXUAL P U R I T Y T E S T _______________________________________________________________________________ Version 5 (200) Condensed Version 26-Sept-1990 _______________________________________________________________________________ Public domain; no copyright. All rights wronged, all wrongs reversed. Up with going down. The risen flesh commands: let there be love. Murphy's law on sex: Love is a matter of chemistry; sex is a matter of physics. Chaste makes waste. Virginity can be cured. This document was not sponsored by the Department of Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency, and was not monitored by the Air Force Avionics Laboratory. The views and conclusions contained in this document should not be interpreted as representing the official policies, either expressed or implied, of the Defense Advanced Projects Agency or the US Government. Neither should it be interpreted nor inferred that the authors/contributors have actually performed any of the actions contained herein. _______________________________________________________________________________ N O T I C E _______________________________________________________________________________ Disclaimer of Liability The user of this test acknowledges, understands, and agrees that sex is a hazardous sport; that a person must copulate in control, and use good judgement at all times; that their partner's condition vary constantly and are greatly affected by weather changes and previous use, that dirty sheets, variations in terrain and bed surfaces, spouses/pimps/managers, forest growth, rocks and debris, clothed obstacles, and many other natural and man-made obstacles and hazards, including other users and customers, exist throughout the bedroom area. Personal managers (pimps/spouses) and sado-masochistic operations and equipment are constantly in use and may be hazardous to customers not copulating in control. Impotence, collisions, and social diseases resulting in injury can happen at any time, even to customers copulating in control with proper sexual equipment. Inherent and other risks are part of the sport and exist in your partner. As a condition of being permitted to use the facilities of your sex object, the user of the partner agrees to copulate in control and within the limits of his/her ability and further acknowledges and accepts these hazards, dangers, and risks and assumes the risk of injury or loss to person or damage to property which might result from the customer's use of the partner's facilities. As a further condition of being permitted to use the facilities of your partner, the customer understands and agrees (1) that in the event of a transfer of use by another or anything else in the management's opinion is misconduct, misuse, kinky, impotence, or nuisance, this service may be revoked without refund; (2) that the partner is the property of the harem and, upon request, he/she must be presented to any authorized representative of the pimp/spouse; (3) that sexual equipment must be visibly displayed at all times when you are in any bedroom and when approaching the bed to copulate. Your sexual partner is not transferable; see Theft of Services, V.S.A., sections 2581 and 2582. _______________________________________________________________________________ Genesis - History ver last revise #of q revision site/contributors 1 - - 100 MIT Baker House/anon 1 - -1982 100 Ported to CMU by ps 2 Spring-1983 247 CMU/jb, pd, kr, ps, ts, mt, et al 3 13-Apr-1985 400 CMU/da, fa, tc, no, dt, sv, rz, et al Version 1 (100) Created at MIT. Two parallel versions; one for male, and one for female. Not much is known about this version. Version 2 (247) Expanded to 247 questions. This marked the beginning of the unisex versions. The story goes that they intended it to be 250 questions, but got tired that night and said "we'll think of three more tomorrow", and tomorrow never got there. Version 3.3C.1 (400) on 05-Dec-1984 First formal release general of this test, version 3.xx. All former version were short-lived and tended to be bug ridden. Does not discriminate against gays or bi's. Good correspondence of scores (especially in the higher score ranges) between this version and version 2. Added in Genesis/History section. Version 3.4 (400) on 29-Jan-1985 Internal version; never released. Source code accidentally destroyed, much to the consternation of one of the authors. Cleaned up many bugs. Added sections: Disclaimer of Liability, Instructions for Use, Scoring, and Warranty Information. Version 3.5 (400) on 10-Apr-1985 Rebuilt from the 3.3C.1 source and the 3.4 (only surviving copy) of the Xerox X9700 laser printer hardcopy. Cleaned up same bugs in 3.4; wiped out a duplicate question; The page number was moved from top of the page to the bottom center; this was to avoid problems trying to coordinate duplex/simplex printing by other people and the positioning of odd/even page numbers. Added in verbose history section. Version 3.5A (400) on 13-Apr-1985 Found that we had 431 questions instead of 400. After an all-night hack session, discovered that the problem lies with the version 4 (1400)-1 of Scribe and how it treats @section headers and @begin(text). Ended up making the pageheading contain a Scribe version field. Also had to add in an extra token @newpage on the page that the questions start; this was to preserve the last of the @style[pagenumber (@A)] page numbers, preserve the same in the Table of Contents, force the page number to be 1, make sure that the Contents get that right, and to force @pageheading and @pagefooting. Version 3.5B (400) on 18-Mar-1986 Intermediate release with footnotes integrated into main body of text and some grammatical errors cleaned up. Begun in Fall, 1985; finished in April for the benefit of a friend at MIT (where it all began), who hadn't seen any versions except the antique Version 1. Verion 3.5C (400) on 17-Jan-1988 Grammatical errors corrected. Introduction and history cleaned up. Version 4.0 (500) on 23-Apr-1988 Original 400-question version expanded to 500 questions. Version 5.0 (200) on 26-Sept-1990 Versions with 400 and 500 questions deemed too long to use at short meetings. Modified Version 4 (500) to 200 questions dealing mainly with the good stuff, sex. _______________________________________________________________________________ Instructions for Use This is a fairly short test consisting of two hundred (200 , CC , B1 , 10 Roman 16 11001000 , 310 ) questions. It starts out tame and gets progressively 2 8 worse, or better, depending on your viewpoint. There are many ways of going about taking this test. You can, of course, as your right, guaranteed by the Constitution, be anti-social and sequester yourself in your room and take this test all by yourself; however we feel that the funnest way to utilize this test is to hold a Purity Test Party. All you need is one (1 , I , 1 , 1 , 1 ) (read my 10 Roman 2 8 16 lips: one) copy of the test, and a bunch of friends. (No doubt lots of writing implements and paper would be useful, too.) The person with the copy of the test will be the test administrator; he/she will read the questions out loud and everybody else will write down their answers. We have no definite rules as to whether the participants are required to divulge their answers, that is up to the group to decide; however, each person's purity score should be made common knowledge. (The person with the highest score gets to be giggled at for the rest of his/her life.) This works great at parties and lets everybody know who's easy and who isn't, so you'll know who to go home with. Don't leave home without it. All questions in this test pertain to events that have happened to you subsequent to your weaning and babyhood infancy. Anything that may have happened before such time is considered not standing and void; it's a null point. The term mutual masturbation refers to someone masturbating you AND/OR you masturbating someone else, not exclusively someone masturbating you AND you masturbating them. We would also like to define having sex in the homosexual case; homosexual sex has occurred when you and/or your partner (of the same sex) have an orgasm while there is some contact between the genitals of you and those of your partner. We would now like to bring to your attention that there is no passing nor failing score. Therefore, one really shouldn't worry too much about getting a high score, even if you do get giggled at for the rest of your life. _______________________________________________________________________________ --- ALL TECHNICALITIES COUNT --- _______________________________________________________________________________ For this section, if you are mostly a: - heterosexual, then the your partner in deed, often referred to by the words someone or partner, is to be someone of the opposite gender. - homosexual, then your partner in deed, often referred to by the words someone or partner, is to be someone of your own gender. - 50-50 confirmed bisexual, then your partner in deed, often referred to by the words someone or partner, is to be someone of the opposite gender. 1. Platonic Relations. 6 Questions. Have you ever done any of the following: 1. dated someone on a regular basis or gone steady? 2. picked someone up or been picked up? 3. shared a bed, sleeping bag, or sleeping accommodations with someone without anything steamy happenings? 4. used tickling as a pick-up, get-to-know-you-better routine? 5. directly asked someone whom you were not going out with and had never gone out with if they were a virgin? 6. used physical strength, physical power, or any physical prowess, or prowesslessness as a factor in pick-up, get-to-know-you-better routine? _______________________________________________________________________________ Although this section is termed Auto-erotica and mono-sexualism, the events herein still count even if you are with someone else at the time. It was so named because predominantly these activities, like the harp, (and the porcelain goddess) is essentially a solo event. 2. Auto-erotica and Mono-sexualism. 19 Questions. Have you ever done the following: 7. fantasized about anyone other than your significant other and masturbated at the same time? 8. read or bought pornographic periodicals or sexually explicit literature? 9. phoned up any live or recorded phone sex numbers? (e.g. (212)976-2626, (212)976-2727, (212)976-2828, etc. Please note that these are fifty cent calls in addition to toll charges and long distance charges.) 10. masturbated at least five times in one twenty-four hour period? 11. masturbated on a fairly regular basis of no less than once a fortnight? 12. masturbated where you could have been discovered? (In a crowd, in public, city parks, gym/dorm/barracks showers, movie theater, etc.) 13. masturbated to orgasm? 14. masturbated while reading either pornographic or sexually explicit materials? 15. masturbated while driving a moving, land vehicle? (Car, RV, truck, motorcycle, hearse, etc.) 16. masturbated while on the phone? (No kinky interpretations of on the phone. This is legit.) 17. masturbated while watching an R or X-rated show? 18. been to a burlesque show or seen a peep show or pornographic movie in a theater or been to a private showing of a pornographic movie? 19. walked around in your room/apartment/house/habitation in the nude? (Must be a serious walk; five minutes of going around trying to find your undies after a shower doesn't make it.) 20. walked around in a public or semi-public area with a top (shirt, T-shirt, etc) but no bottoms (pants, shorts, etc)? (Dorm hallways, lobby areas, etc. are acceptable; however locker rooms and bathrooms and such place where this behavior is not proscribed does not count.) 21. bought blatant sexual objects? (This means that if you buy a bottle of Coke and you use it as a dildo, it really doesn't count. Think: design and function.) 22. owned any erotic art pieces (Like that phallic symbol in the cat woman scene in A Clockwork Orange.) or sculpted erotic-obscene artworks in anything (bananas, carrots, apples, soap, wood, etc.)? 23. made an X- or R-rated snowman/snowwoman? 24. inserted anything into your rectum? 25. performed oral sex on yourself? (Yes, this is possible for most males and even for some females.) _______________________________________________________________________________ 3. Legislative Misfits and Other Ethical Questions. 17 Questions. Have you ever done any of the following: 26. lied about your sexual preference in order to avoid a date? 27. told someone that you loved them when you did not, or told someone that you loved them strictly because you wanted to have sex with them? 28. fantasized about someone else other than your partner while you were engaged in sex, oral sex, or mutual masturbation? 29. intentionally listened in onto other people having sex, oral sex, or mutual masturbation without their knowing it? 30. used drugs or alcohol to lower someone else's inhibitions for the intent of sex or oral sex or drugged someone without their knowledge and/or consent? 31. forced or coerced someone into having intimate physical relations with you? 32. had dates with more than one person in the same night while one or more of the people involved were not aware of your actions, or gone steady with two or more people at the same time with one or more of the people unaware of what you were doing or with all of them knowing that you were doing it? 33. streaked, flashed, or otherwise exposed pretty much totally yourself in public before a gathering of people? 34. given or received money or some favor to have sex, oral sex, or mutual masturbation? 35. had or gave someone an unwanted pregnancy? 36. bought condoms or borrowed/stolen/taken birth control devices from your or someone else's parents? 37. had sex while either you or your partner but not both were under the age of consent of the state that you were in then? 38. thought you had VD, had VD of any sort (VD, STD's, i.e. the clap, crabs, herpes, etc.), or had an AIDS test due to reasonable suspicion or hyperactive imagination? 39. given a sympathy fuck? 40. initiated sex with someone for the sake of sex only? 41. been involved in adultery? 42. bought lingerie/undergarments of the opposite sex? _______________________________________________________________________________ 4. Drugs. 10 Questions. Have you ever done any of the following: 43. been intoxicated, thrown up or passed out due to excessive alcohol, forgotted events that occured while you were drunk? 44. bought, sold, or re-sold controlled/illicit drugs, or any compound scheduled by the DEA, in violation of the law? 45. used a commercial aphrodisiac? (Spanish fly, Magic Love Drops, powdered rhino horn, etc.) 46. smoked or eaten marijuana/sensemilia? 47. taken any drugs for any purpose other than medical? 48. played any games in which there was a mystery as to who would be getting drugs and who wouldn't, yet everybody plays in it? (e.g. Who's got the pill, where half the cups (of soda) would have LSD in it and the other half wouldn't and everybody picks a cup and drinks it and wonders who gets lucky.) 49. gone to class or work while under the influence of drugs? (alcohol counts) 50. mixed drugs (alcohol counts. Mixed meaning being under the influence or two or more drugs at once.) 51. been addicted to any drug (alcohol counts)? 52. had sex while you were under the influence of any drug? _______________________________________________________________________________ For this section, it you are mostly a: - heterosexual, then your partner in deed, often referred to by the words someone or partner, is to be someone of the opposite gender. - homosexual, then your partner in deed, often referred to by the words someone or partner, is to be someone of your own gender. - 50-50 confirmed bisexual, then your partner in deed, often referred to by the words someone or partner, is to be someone of the opposite gender. 5. Non Platonic. 31 Questions. Have you done any of the following: 53. propositioned someone for sex, oral sex, or mutual masturbation? 54. french kissed? 55. kissed someone else or been kissed below the neck but not including arms or hands? 56. kissed, necked, or petted above/below the waist on the first date? 57. given or received a hickey? 58. fondled, petted or stroked someone else's clothed legs, chest/torso, or had your clothed legs, chest/torso fondled or stroked? 59. fondled, petted or stroked someone else's bare legs, chest/torso, or had your bare chest/torso fondled or stroked? 60. been involved with pelvic thrusting while fully clothed? 61. had your fingers or toes licked or sucked, or licked or sucked someone else's fingers or toes? 62. had your ear or ear region licked, breathed upon, sucked, or nibbled, or licked, breathed onto, sucked, or nibbled someone else's an ear or ear region? 63. fondled someone who was asleep? 64. given a back massage that lead to something steamier? 65. been seen or seen someone else completely nude while the person was under good lighting conditions, or been in someone's company while both of you were completely nude? 66. bathed or showered with someone, or let someone else wash you while you were perfectly capable of doing it yourself. (This means that it doesn't count if you were in the hospital with two broken arms and the nurse washed you, no matter how cute she is.) 67. gone skinny dipping in mixed company? 68. licked, sucked, or nibbled on someone else's nipple, or had your nipple licked, sucked, or nibbled upon? 69. petted, stroked, or fondled someone else's covered genitals, or had your covered genitals petted, stroked, or fondled? 70. petted, stroked, or fondled someone else's bare genitals, or had your bare genitals petted, stroked, or fondled? 71. had an orgasm while petting, or given your partner an orgasm while petting? 72. scratched, bruised, bitten or otherwise injured, or been scratched, bruised, bitten or injured during sex? 73. performed or received oral sex? 74. swallowed semen, or tasted female liquids? 75. done sixty-nine? 76. performed mutual masturbation? 77. had sex? (No need for orgasm; penetration counts.) 78. had sex on the first date? 79. had sex without the use of birth control devices? (Rhythm, prayer and hope methods do not count.) 80. had sex with a virgin? (Not yourself.) 81. had sex with someone whose name you did not know, or whose face you never saw? 82. had sex with someone where there was an age difference of more than 10 years? 83. had sex with a religious officiary. (Priest, nun, mother-superior, cardinal, pope, deity, etc.) _______________________________________________________________________________ This section of the test deals with whether you have done things with people whom you may not be altogether comfortable, therefore in this section of the test, if you are mostly a: - heterosexual, then your partner in deed, often referred to by the words someone or partner, is to be someone of your own gender. - homosexual, then your partner in deed, often referred to by the words someone or partner, is someone of the opposite gender. - 50-50 confirmed bisexual, then your partner in deed, often referred to by the words someone or partner, is to be someone of your own gender. 6. Non Primary Choice Relations. 17 Questions. Have you ever done any of the following: 84. french kissed someone or necked? 85. petted, or received or given manual sex? 86. received or given oral sex? 87. had sex? 88. propositioned someone for sex, oral sex, or mutual masturbation, or yielded willingly to a proposition from someone for sex, oral sex, or mutual masturbation? 89. had sex with someone whose face you never saw, or whose name you never knew? 90. been a participant in a who's-physically-better-equipped verification contest, or been a judge in such a contest? (Contestants must be of same gender; spectators, judges, umpires, and verifiers may be of different gender.) 91. given or received money or favors for sex, oral sex, or mutual masturbation? 92. fondled someone who was asleep? 93. attempted to seduce someone, or allowed yourself to be seduced? 94. had an orgasm while petting, or given your partner an orgasm while petting? 95. stroked or fondled the clothed legs, chest/torso of someone, or had your clothed legs, chest/torso stroked or fondled? 96. stroked or fondled the bare legs, chest/torso or someone, or had your bare legs, chest/torso stroked or fondled? 97. had sex, oral sex, or mutual masturbation with more than 10 people? 98. stroked, fondled, or otherwise handled the clothed genitals of someone else? 99. stroked, fondled, or otherwise handled the bare genitals of someone else? 100. been in a menage-a-trois of people of the same sex, or been involved in group sex with all of the participants of the same sex? (4 or more people, partners must be exchanged.) _______________________________________________________________________________ For any of the questions in this section, a yes answer is in order if it is something that you do as an alternative to other sexual gratifications or as an aid and/or in conjunction with other means of sexual gratification, or in other words, have you done it in a serious basis? Trying it a few times to see what it's like does no count. 7. Alternate Choices. 12 Questions. Do any of the following apply: 101. been decidedly heterosexual? 102. been decidedly homosexual? 103. practiced bestiality with either a live or dead animal? 104. practiced transvesticism? 105. practiced sadism or masochism? 106. practiced bondage? 107. practiced domination or submission? 108. practiced sodomy? 109. practiced role-playing? (nurse-patient, teacher-student, border guard-well endowed co-ed, etc.) 110. owned an underwear collection of underwears not belonging to you, or been a foot, leather, or rubber/latex fetishist to any degree? 111. been a voyeur? 112. been an exhibitionist? _______________________________________________________________________________ This section relates to what you have or have not done. Accordingly, the group of people we are speaking of are of both genders. In questions where groups of people are concerned, there must be at least one person in the group who is of the opposite gender. 8. Group Sexual Relations. 11 Questions. Have you ever done any of the following: 113. played a game in which it may require you or others to disrobe themselves, or perform an action on another participant? 114. been in intimate contact with more than one person at the same time while all of you were nude? 115. had sex with more than 1 person or with both genders in a 24 hour period? 116. been involved in a menage-a-trois or a two (or more) in one? 117. walked in on others having sex? (committed an "OOPS") 118. committed an "OOPS" and then joined in? 119. had sex or oral sex with a person and his/her parent, or had sex, oral sex, mutual masturbation, necking or petting with a person and his/her sibling? (not necessarily at the same time) 120. been in a circle of fuck, or a 69 circle? 121. participated in an orgy or been involved in group sex? (Four people or more, partners must be exchanged.) 122. been propositioned or propositioned a person or group of people for group sex? 123. participated in a fuck-a-thon? (Where the object is to see how many times you can do it in the certain amount of time.) _______________________________________________________________________________ This section measures your kinkiness. Therefore, the questions apply to both actions and events occurring while you were alone as well as when you were with someone else. 9. Extracurricular, deviant conduct 9.1. Non sentient objects. 15 Questions. Have you ever done any of the following: 124. used a bowling pin, Coke bottle, food, or something along those general shapes for masturbatory or sexual purposes, including insertion into vagina or anus? 125. eaten the food used in masturbation after it was extracted/evacuated from vagina or anus? 126. actually measured your or someone else's penis? (i.e., actually grabbed a ruler, yardstick, tape measure, etc.) 127. used a mechanical hand-holdable device in aiding or replacing masturbation? (Vibrator, massager, Dust-Buster, vacuum cleaner, etc.) 128. used ice for sexual purposes, or for something frozen as a dildo? (icicles, popsicles, and the like. Penetration.) 129. used a strap-on dildo or male extension sheath? 130. put any sort of food on your partner's body and then eaten it, chocolate syrup, salad dressing, peanut butter, honey, sandwich spread, oil, whipped cream, etc.) 131. used hot/melted wax for sexual purposes? 132. watched yourself in a mirror during sex? 133. worn edible underwear/lingerie, or eaten edible underwear/lingerie off of someone? 134. worn a leather/grore suit or diapers for a sexual or masturbatory purpose? 135. used a ball gag or other manufactured gag? 136. worn a collar and/or leash? 137. used an inflatable doll, or humped an inanimate object like a pillow, (dinner) liver, hole in the wall, sausages, bananas, etc.? 138. watched animals having sex, or been aroused at the sight of animals having sex? _______________________________________________________________________________ This section tries to figure out how many places you have done it. It applies only to those situations in which you were with someone else. 9.2. Locality. 23 Questions. Have you ever done any of the following: 139. necked, petted, had sex, oral sex, or mutual masturbation in a place of religion? (Church, temple, altar, Grand Holy Cabbage Head Patch, etc.) 140. necked, petted, had sex, oral sex, or mutual masturbation in a place or contraption of the dead? (Morgue, mortuary, cemetery, coffin, hearse, etc.) 141. necked, petted, had sex, oral sex, or mutual masturbation in/on a construction site? (house, office, launch platform, etc.) 142. necked, petted, had sex, oral sex, or mutual masturbation in a car, station wagon, van, minivan, minibus, fuckmobile, or any moderately sized, land-road based vehicle not in excess of 30,000 pounds net unladen gross weight? 143. necked, petted, had sex, oral sex, or mutual masturbation in a land-road based vehicle in excess of 30,000 pounds net unladen gross weight? (Truck, tank, armored vehicle, road-roller, etc.) 144. necked, petted, had sex, oral sex, or mutual masturbation in a land based, non road dependant vehicle? (Train, subway, roller-coaster, etc.) 145. necked, petted, had sex, oral sex, or mutual masturbation in a water based, vehicular transport medium locomoted by manual power? (Row boat, surfboard, floating bathtub, etc. For this question, it only counts if the thing was in the water at the time.) 146. necked, petted, had sex, oral sex, or mutual masturbation in a water based, wind or propeller driven transport medium not in excess of 80 feet? (Yacht, PT boat, windsurfer, sunfish, etc.) 147. necked, petted, had sex, oral sex, or mutual masturbation in a water based, wind or propeller driven transport medium more than 80 feet in length? (Cruise ship, battleship, aircraft carrier, nuclear submarine, etc.) 148. necked, petted, had sex, oral sex, or mutual masturbation in an aircraft? (Airplane, helicopter, hovercraft, balloon, zeppelin, flying carpet, flying saucer, etc.) 149. had sex in a household room other than a bedroom? 150. had sex on the floor (but not the roof)? 151. had sex on any furniture that is indoors but is not a bed, table, desk, counter-top, nor anything that is predominantly used for sitting, or to be used as a table/desk? 152. had sex, oral sex, or mutual masturbation in a telephone booth, voting booth, automatic photograph takers, or any such small, non-moving enclosure that was not designed for such activities? 153. had sex, oral sex, or mutual masturbation in an elevator, people-mover, escalator, or any building internal people moving device? 154. had sex, oral sex, or mutual masturbation outdoors within the confines of any shielding structure? (up a tree, in a hedge, bush cave, well, etc.) 155. had sex, oral sex, or mutual masturbation in a suspension device of some sort? (hammock, trampoline, tightrope, safety net, etc.) 156. had sex participated in oral sex, or participated in mutual masturbation on a roof of a building? 157. had sex, oral sex, or mutual masturbation in the snow (Spring thaw acceptable.) or in a place where the prevailing, ambient temperature (of the air immediately surrounding you) was below 32F? 158. had sex, participated in oral sex, or participated in mutual masturbation in a place where you could have been discovered? 159. had sex, oral sex, or mutual masturbation in or under water? (in a bath-tub, hot tub, under a shower, waterfalls, tropical, torrential downpour, monsoons, swimming pool, pond, lake, sea) 160. had sex on the beach (and the resultant sand in uncomfortable places)? 161. gone to a motel (however sleazy) for the sole purpose of having sex? _______________________________________________________________________________ 9.3. Style. 39 Questions. Have you ever done any of the following: 162. watched while someone else masturbated or been watched while masturbating? 163. orgasmed on somebody or been orgasmed on? 164. orgasmed in somebody if you are a male or had someone orgasm in you if you are a female? 165. had more than one person orgasm on you at once, or been one of several people orgasming on someone else? 166. been involved in the use of a penis as a leash or bludgeoning device? 167. been involved in oxygen deprivation for sexual enhancement? 168. willingly made video or audio tapes or had pictures taken while having sex, oral sex, or mutual masturbation? 169. physically watched others having sex? 170. watched, taken pictures, or made video tapes of your partner of choice having sex, oral sex or mutual masturbation with someone else? 171. talked dirty, made "animal" noises, disturbed other people by making excessive noise, or intentionally made more noise than necessary during sex, oral sex, or mutual masturbation? 172. had a family pet or domesticated animal walk over you or your partner while you were involved in sex or oral sex? 173. had a general emergency arise while you were steeped in sex? (Such as: house on fire, flash flood, private plane crash lands in your dwelling...) 174. had your sexual technique/style/skill openly praised by someone? 175. been involved in breast fucking? (aka "The Hawaiian Muscle Fuck") 176. participated in fist-fucking? (see "Caligula") 177. had sex for more than three hours in a single session of sex? 178. orgasmed more the three times in one session of sex? 179. had sex so many times or for so long that one or both people involved runs dry? 180. had sex, oral sex, or mutual masturbation while you were driving (the car or boat or whatever vehicle)? 181. had sex doggie fashion? 182. had sex in the female superior position? 183. had sex sitting up? 184. had sex standing up? 185. had sex upside-down? 186. gone through two or more sexual positions without the need for re-entry? 187. woken up to someone having sex with you? 188. had anal sex? 189. had sex more than 10 times in a 24 hour period? 190. had sex, participated in oral sex, or participated in masturbation while someone other than your partner was watching? 191. had sex or oral sex while one or both of you played a musical instrument, hacked, watched television, read, slept, drew or in other words were preoccupied with something other than sex and lust? 192. performed oral sex after intercourse without washing or douching or kissed your partner on the lips after oral sex without brushing teeth, nor washing/gargling/rinsing out mouth? 193. been involved in cunnilingus during the woman's period? 194. had sex during the woman's period? 195. foot masturbated someone or been foot masturbated? 196. tongue bathed someone or been tongue bathed? 197. been involved in golden showers? 198. used the Purity Test as a checklist of things you could do? 199. done something for the sole purpose of lowering your Purity Test score? 200. participated in Purity Testing with an ulterior motive or become interested in someone only after hearing about their Purity Test score? _______________________________________________________________________________ I. Scoring Congratulations, you are now the proud owner of a sheet of paper with lots of itty-bitty answers to the Purity Test. Sworn to excellence of workmanship, we now give you directions on how to calculate your Purity score. There are several methods; the calculator method works best, as does the a la mainframe method. (A DECsystem-2060 works great as a PC.) Of the easier ways: count up all your "no" answers, then divide this number by two. This gives your percentage purity; the higher the number, the more pure you are; in the same vein, the lower the score, the more of a sleaze-bag you are. For your reference, we include calculator directions: For people with real calculators (HP): <#no ans.> [ENTER] 2 / For people with other (dinky) calculators: <#no ans.> / 2 = _______________________________________________________________________________ II. Warranty Information We hope that you have enjoyed this test. It does not come with a warranty, nor does it guarantee that it will get you laid or make you somehow somewhat better in bed or the haystack. The makers of this test are not responsible for any liabilities or damages resulting from this test, including but not limited to, paternity suits. Ask your doctor or pharmacist. Do not take apart; there are no user serviceable parts inside. Propagate (this test) at will, even without the written permission of the publisher; just don't edit or change it. In reproducing this test, the authors of this test may exercise droit de seigneur over you, your immediate family, or fiance(e). You may or may not have additional rights which may vary from state to state. (i.e. inebriated) Not recommended for children under twelve. Parental guidance discouraged and frowned upon. Pencils, additional paper, and batteries not included. Some assembly may be required. Does not come with any other figures. Drive carefully; 90% of the people in the world are caused by accidents. The above is a public service announcement of this institution. _______________________________________________________________________________